


It's Like Flying

by AloneShadow



Series: Prompts Drops [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bromance, Caring Steve, Fear, Feels, Friendship, PTSD, Post Avengers and Iron Man 3, Prompt Fic, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, recovering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14604558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AloneShadow/pseuds/AloneShadow
Summary: Tony made it out alive from the fight against Killian, but ignoring the problems that the battle have left behind won't make them disappear.





	It's Like Flying

**Author's Note:**

> An old fic completed to distract myself months ago. I wanted to see Avengers Infinity War before posting it because I knew I needed something to recover... Wish I was wrong...

_Shit_. 

That was all Tony could think after realizing he screwed up. _How much_ he screwed up. 

Honestly, it wasn’t even his fault- nor he did it intentionally. For once he was just doing what he was supposed to. _For once_ , he was doing his job- a good job, really, nothing crazy, nothing against the rules and, more important, nothing _fucking_ wrong. Then, something hit him. And he fell. 

Later, he would've known that the suit stopped working for exactly twenty seconds- still, enough to make him go down straight into the dark water of the river for what looked like an eternity. 

“Rebooting the system in five seconds. Sir, please, don’t panic,” JARVIS had said in his calm voice. 

“Make it three, would you?” Tony murmured blinking fast in the pitch black surrounding him: all he could hear was his unsteady breathing and the rocks screeching against the metal of the suit. It wasn’t _that_ bad, a part of him knew nothing was going to happen- he didn’t need to risk to drown to be saved this time: if something good came from the battle against the Mandarin and Killian few weeks before, was that now Iron Man had new emergency protocols installed to avoid ba situations. _Expecially_ underwater bad situations. He hadn't tested them yet, but JARVIS said five seconds, right? And that wasn’t even the ocean, for God’ sake. The team was there too, somewhere… probably not close enough to save him so he was going to drown and die and- 

“System operative at 100%.” JARVIS warned him and Tony- Tony couldn’t move. 

_Oh God…_

“Sir?” 

Tony kept blinking but the rest of his body stood still. He could feel the freezing water around the suit perfectly operative, ready to work, but his _body_ wasn’t responding. “Get me out- JARVIS, take me out of here,” he managed to gasp and, in an instant, the AI took the command and Iron Man flew out the water.

He could see the world again, just for a moment before the harsh landing made him shut his eyes, grasping on the ground for balance, and still, he could feel the pressure- the cold darkness lingering all around him.

JARVIS said something he didn’t catch, but a second later the suit was opening and he fell out of it, dropping on his knees, coughing because, absurd as it could be, breathing wasn’t that easy and he started to panic: there was no water, he was out, safe, oxygen waiting there for him to breathe it in, but his lungs just refused to. 

When a hand grabbed his shoulder, he barely noticed it. Probably was the suit… No, the hand was warm, the grasp strong and then another one was behind his neck, a voice slowly making its way through the invisible water surrounding him. 

“-going on? Stark!” 

Tony blinked again, startled by the voice, but able to recognize it. 

Captain America was staring at him visibly alarmed, scanning his face before his grasp on Tony’s shoulder tightened. “Tony, breath,” he said, watching him shaking his head, “You’re out of the water. Breath!” he ordered, shaking him. 

He flinched again but then gulped a sudden, gigantic wave of air that threw him into another storm of coughs, as if he was actually drowning until a second before, grasping on the soldier’s arm to not fall forward. 

Steve stayed down on one knee in front of the man, keeping a firm hold on him. 

Tony kept coughing and coughing, trying to understand what just happened- what the hell was wrong with him, but breathing was more important so he just focused on that, and on the warmth of Steve’s hands. 

 

In the end, it turned out that during the fight against the group of spies that attacked a S.H.I.E.L.D.’s lab, one of them had shot Iron Man with an emp jammer that caused the momentarily shut down of the suit. Tony checked every single part of it the same night after the clash: the emergency programs had worked perfectly. If those twenty seconds seemed like an hour, if he almost choked himself to death, that wasn’t JARVIS’ fault. Make them become ten seconds became a priority, anyway.

The bad guys had been captured and the mission successfully completed. 

_Almost died because such a stupid mission_ , Tony couldn’t stop thinking. He joined the fight only because he was talking with Fury at the time, he wasn’t planning to do anything else, even if he had taken the suit with him like he was used doing lately- maybe too often. Then the attack started, and he joked about helping and Fury answered that the Captain was going to handle it, so of course Iron Man wanted to join and show off the muscles as well. 

It was all funny and lovely until that emp, and _of fucking course_ of all the people that could’ve find him after his dive into the river, Steve Rogers has to be the lucky one watching him choking himself on the edge of a panic attack. 

Tony sighed and dropped the pen that rolled on the desk, staring at the silent lab, the immobile Iron Man suit standing few feet away. “JARVIS, what time is it?” 

“Five AM, sir. I would suggest you get some rest.” 

“Sure…” 

“Report says you haven’t slept in almost two days.” 

"I slept few hours.” 

“Fainting of exhaustion is not what people would consider _healty sleep_ , sir.” 

“Some kind of sleep, nonetheless,” Tony murmured, passing a hand over his eyes. He stood and grabbed the desk not to fall. Steadying himself, he turned and lay down on the couch, staring at the ceiling for a long moment before closing his eyes. He still could see Steve’s worried face crystal clear in his memory. 

 

It took him other two days to take the decision and finally leave the lab to descend to the last floor of the Avenger Tower. 

He needed to face the problem to solve it. There was no other way around it and he knew it. He also knew very well he wasn’t the right person to help himself, but it was that or JARVIS, and, despite how much Tony considered the AI as a human being, sadly it wasn’t one. 

Tony walked through the silent corridor and stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath before opening it: the pool was empty, the water immobile. 

He stared at it for a long moment, tapping his fingers over the doorway before finally taking a step forward, walking to the edge… 

“Sir, Director Fury on the call,” JARVIS warned, making him jump. 

“Yeah… ok,” Tony breathed out his tension and turned around, leaving. 

 

It started just like that, becoming some kind of ritual: early morning or late evening, Tony would have walked in the empty pool and stood there, usually until JARVIS would’ve called for some reason. So all his resolution resulted in a very intense staring at the water, as saying, _I’m not scared of you, and I’ll fight you. Tomorrow._

After five days repeating this _ritual_ , Tony reached the pool one more time, an evening, but froze once he stepped inside, finding Steve Rogers sitting on one of the chairs closer to the edge. 

The soldier turned around and stood, “Stark.” 

“What you’re doing here?” Tony asked, too much surprised to say anything else. 

“I needed to talk to you, and JARVIS said you were coming down here, so...” he watched him still staring, so he added, “You’re busy?”

“Huh? No. No, I- I’m just surprised. I wasn’t expecting guests.” 

“Sorry about that. I tried to see you these days, but be able to talk to you is harder than I thought.” 

_Maybe because I said JARVIS to tell everyone that I wasn’t here_ , Tony wanted to say but thought better not to. “Yeah, I… I got some meetings and- calls to arrange more meetings.” 

Steve nodded slowly. 

Tony did the same, then cleared his throat. “Well, you needed something?” 

“Not really... I just wanted to know if you were alright.” 

“Cap, don’t tell me you were worried about me?” Tony laughed sarcastically, hoping he managed to hide the little emotion in his voice. Last time they saw each other, Steve was silently sitting next to him inside a S.H.I.E.L.D.’s helicopter, keeping one of his warm, large hands over his shoulder while he still had difficulties to breathe. Then they landed, and Tony was taken to the hospital for a checkup. They haven’t talked since then. 

“Well, Fury said you were back here at the Tower, so I just thought to check how you’ve been.”

Tony should’ve seen this coming… Yet, he wasn’t expecting the Captain would’ve been _actually_ worried about him. He huffed a little laugh, ready to say something stupid to cheer both up, but his voice died before forming any words. Blinking, he looked at the soldier in front of him, waiting, face so calm to seem almost blank. “I’m fine,” he blurted out after few seconds. “It was just a moment. Nothing to worry about.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, more than sure. You want my official apologies?” 

“They shot you down, I saw it. It wasn’t your fault.” 

_Well, it’s something_. Tony snorted to himself. 

“But I saw you couldn’t breathe when I found you. Were you having a-?” 

“It’s all fine now. Look, I have few projects to take care of, so… it was nice to see you. Thanks for passing by. Next time a drink's on me, alright?” 

Steve tried to say something, but the man was already gone. 

 

The day after, Tony was standing in the doorway of the elevator, staring intently at the pool’s door down the corridor. He didn’t like his rituals being interrupted and find Steve there the other day had been sure a mild shock. Knowing how worried he was about him, _that_ has been a _complete_ shock…  
Of all people, why the hell it has to be Steve seeing how he was so easy to break?

He never thought that fear could still have such a huge impact on his body and mind, not after all that time… sure, what happened in the last years didn’t exactly helped- but he was over it by now. Or at least, he thought he was.

“JARVIS, don’t let anyone come down here,” he said, walking straight to the pool and once in there he froze for a second time. “Really?” 

Steve was sitting on the edge of the pool wearing a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, feet into the water, and turned to look back at him. “What?” 

“Why you’re here _again_?” 

“I’m using a room on the Avenger’s floor you told us about,” he said, and the other just kept staring. “I thought you said we could use them?” 

“No! I mean, yes, but you- none of you ever used those rooms. Why you’re staying in the Tower now?” 

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Remember what you said when you saw my apartment?” 

Tony took a deep breath, trying not to hate himself too much. “That my fridge was bigger than that. Look, I know what you’re trying to do here, ok? So I’ll spare you the drama: I’m fine, I don’t need Captain America to check on me.” 

“Tony-“ 

“No, no Captain Puppy Eyes on me. Go back swinging your shield somewhere else.” 

“You know to swim?” 

Tony never tried so hard not to scream. “Yes, I do. Now, get out.” 

“Have some training with me, then.” He said gesturing at the pool

“What?” Tony blinked, confused for a second, then quickly on the defense. “Are you- is this a test?” 

“No, I’m just-“ 

“You think I’m afraid of the water?” 

“I don’t think that’s-" 

“Good, because it’s not.” 

Steve sighed, hoping to not get interrupted again. “Then what happened the day of the attack?” 

“Nothing happened.” He said angrier than he intended, but the other just kept staring. “I told you I’m fine. What else you want from me?” 

“Let's say that I know someone that was in a similar situation... Facing the problem alone is rarely the best idea.” 

“Oh really? And who was this other poor, desperate soul?”

“Me.” 

_Genius Stark, really a genius,_ Tony cursed at himself, looking down in shame. “Steve, this isn’t- it’s not the same thing. I haven’t crashed into the ocean. This is- this is a waste of time. Just do me a favor and forget it.” He said and turned around to leave. 

“Why you came here every day, then?” Steve asked, making him stop.

“Who said that I came here every day?” 

“I asked JARVIS.” 

Tony sighed, looking up and whispering a nervous, “Traitor.” 

“Apologies, Sir.” The AI commented, not sounding sorry at all. 

“Tony, this isn’t just about you-“ 

“I’m pretty sure it is.” 

“I mean that you’re part of the team. I need to know that I can count on you,” he said standing up, water forming a puddle around his wet feet. “I haven’t filed a report about what happened, but- I just want to be sure there’s no need to. That you're ok.” 

Tony couldn’t just admit that the Captain of the Avengers had good reasons to do that, so opted for a timeout. “And you need to be sure about that now?” 

“Tomorrow morning is ok?” Steve asked and, after a moment, the other nodded. 

 

Tony didn’t manage to sleep that night. Trying to distract himself working on multiple projects at the same time, he lost himself in his own thoughts, wondering if Steve just wanted to see how much Iron Man was unstable, mentally and physically… but then he had to remind himself _who_ he was talking about. Steve could be lots of things, but he wasn’t the kind of man enjoying poking at other’s personal traumas. Probably too busy with his own. 

Passing both hands over his face, Tony took a deep breath and swirled on the rolled chair, staring at the ceiling before standing and leaving the lab. 

At five in the morning, the whole tower was mostly empty, except for the security guards.  
Tony nodded at the two he met on his way to the pool and, once there, he was relieved to see that Steve wasn’t arrived yet. Standing at the edge of the pool, Tony stared down at the soft lights shining underwater, giving the whole place a calming blue aura… a light similar to the reactor’s, shining under his shirt. He breathed deeply, passing a hand over it. 

“Already awake?” Steve asked, entering the pool. 

“Sarcasm. You're making progress,” the other murmured trying to hide a flinch. Turning around, he found the soldier wearing just a gray hoodie open over his bare chest. Tony wondered if he was also wearing a thong under his sweatpants, and had to hide a grin at the thought, looking back at the water. “You want me to sit down while you take notes?” 

“Tony, I just want to help.” 

“When I said that I need help?” 

“You never do. That’s why I’m here.” Steve deadpanned.

Tony almost blushed, _almost_ , but he was more stubborn than that. He simply couldn’t let him win- even if there was nothing to win. “I know to swim, isn’t that enough to be part of the Avengers?” 

“What happened when you fell into the river, then?” 

“You _are_ trying to analyze me, afterall.” 

“No, I just thought-”

“What? That because you’re the Captain everyone has to share their feelings with you? Did you even _thought_ that maybe I don’t want to? That you have no right to come up with this interrogation?” Tony didn't mean to attack him right away, but he was damn afraid to lose this battle...

Steve stared at him with a strange expression on his face: not sad, nor angry, but quite stubborn himself. What he said, though, wasn’t what the other was expecting. “You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t have forced you to come down here if you didn't wanted to.” 

Tony refused to look at him after that, turning around to stare at the water. “Just fill your report. I don’t care.” 

“But I do.” 

That made him blink and look back: the Captain was actually leaving. _I just can’t win this_. “And why you should?” 

Steve’s shoulder raised and then lowered during a long breath. When he turned around, his face was calm but vaguely sad. “Tony, you’ve read my personal files, and I’ve read yours. We both had hard times and I know it takes time to recover, but you don’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to. I won’t think low about you. None of us would.” 

Taken aback, Tony’s mouth opened slightly and just closed again. When he saw him walking away, he made a step forward. “It’s-“ that was all he managed to say before freezing on the spot when the soldier looked back at him. He swallowed down and tried again. “It’s the drowning. The memory of- of drowning.”

Steve studied him for a second, “I thought you said the suit can work underwater…” 

“Yes, it can, but I remember perfectly what it feels like to be stuck down there,” he said. “I know I wasn’t going to drown the other day, everything was working just fine until that EMP hit me. _I_ was perfectly fine until then, ok? This- this never happened before. Not after…” he slowly realized how fast he was talking so he stopped, swallowing down the tension, daring to look at the soldier only when he felt brave enough.

Steve was immobile, studying him with that serious expression, now slightly unsure. 

“It’s not a big deal. I’m working on it. That’s why I said that this- all _this_ is a waste of time.”

“How can I help?” 

Tony was expecting more questions, more Captain-ish talking, so he just stared at him, not sure about what to say to that. 

“You're coming down here every day to fix this problem, right? So... Don’t you think that maybe in two would be- safer?” 

_Safer?_ “Since when you’re eager to help me?”

Steve huffed a little laugh. “Maybe we’re not best friends, but I don’t want to see you drowning in a pool.” 

Tony stared at the water, taking a deep breath before looking back at him. “I have JARVIS checking on me all the time, remember?” he said and grinned a bit at the embarrassed face the soldier made at that. 

“Right. Well, if you need anything-“ 

“You can stay. If you want.” He interrupted him, standing on the edge while taking off his shirt. “You would probably be faster than him on saving me, anyway.” 

“I can throw you a float in one second.” 

Tony huffed and turned around, finding the soldier already next to him. 

“It’s in the swing,” Steve added with a little smile, jokingly moving his arm as to launch an invisible shield. 

“I’m in good hands, then.” 

“How you’re planning to start?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Want me to push you in?” 

“Don’t-” Tony suddenly flinched back, pointing a finger at him that haven’t moved at all. “Don’t you dare.” 

“I was kidding,” Steve smiled patiently. “Start sitting down and slowly go in?” 

“I wish I was in the mood to make a joke out of that…” 

“What?” 

“Nevermind. Alright… At least isn’t cold,” Tony said letting half of his legs into the water. 

“You don’t want to change?” 

“I’m fine like this.” He snorted slowly immersing himself with his sweatpants on, _God, this is such a bad idea_. After five seconds, he grabbed the floor- Steve ankles, actually, in a grasp more similar to a bear trap. 

“You’re doing great so far.”

“Shut up, Rogers.” 

“I mean it. You’re already in the water. I thought-“ 

All of sudden, Tony felt the water rising over his chest and he grasped Steve’s legs, not hearing nor focusing on anything else but getting out the water until two hands grabbed his arms and he did the same, realizing he had made Steve fall on the floor, staying halfway on top of him, his feet brushing the water surface. 

“You ok?” Steve asked, looking a bit shaken himself. 

“Y-yeah… sorry, I- I didn’t mean to- I wasn’t trying to take off your pants,” Tony said, noticing how much he had pulled his trousers down while blindly trying to climb the man to find safety. Blushing, he looked at the other, until they let out a nervous laugh. 

“Hey, if you want to stop…” 

“It’s ok… I’m ok,” Tony let the laughs die and slowly moved away from him, sitting next to each other. “That’s what happened last time. I know I’m not drowning, but I’m sure it’s going to happen.” 

Steve stayed in silence for a moment, then asked, “You think you can try again?” 

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” 

“If you stop now, it’ll get worst. I’ll help you this time.” Steve said removing his trousers, revealing a pair of blue boxer.

“That’s disappointing...” Tony murmured and, watching him frowning in confusion, laughed a bit. “So, what’s the plan?” 

“Very simple,” Steve said smoothly moving into the water. “Get in and grab my hands,” he added, keeping them in front of himself. 

“How old are you, ten?” 

“If that’s going to work with you...” 

“I don’t need a hand in that sense. This is just-“ 

“Can you trust me for once, or you made me took my pants off for nothing?” 

Tony tried to shot back something but just laughed again. “Very romantic. Alright...” He slowly moved back in the water and grabbed his arms. Once Steve was the only thing supporting him, his grasp tightened.

Steve could easily keep both of them up. He then looked down at the reactor. “That’s waterproof, right?” 

“I hope you’re kidding.” 

“Just to be sure. I thought you already removed it after what happened last Christmas,” Steve said calmly but felt him squeezing his arms again. 

"So you know about that...” 

“Natasha talked with Pepper.” 

Tony looked down at the light between them. “The operation is scheduled in a month.” 

“So long?” 

“What you mean _so long_? They can’t just pull this thing off my chest and magically it’s all done.” 

Steve smiled a bit, staring at the shining core. “So you won’t need it anymore. You’re going to keep it?” 

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Tony sighed, “It caused me lots of troubles in the past years… not sure I want to remember about it.“

“It’ll still be the icon on your suit?” 

“I won’t change it for a shining star, that’s for sure.” 

“Why not? Just make it red and it’s gonna be fine.” 

“Thank God you’re not the one designing my suits…” 

Steve smiled a bit. “I think I’ll miss it.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“The first time I saw it was- it was fascinating to look at...” 

“You’re calling for dirty jokes or something?” 

“What?” 

“Nothing… Were you saying something about how fascinating I am?” 

“The reactor was. You looked like a little punk too full of himself. Not that you weren’t, but…” 

“But?” Tony snorted, unimpressed. 

“But now I know that there’s more inside the suit than outside,” Steve said and saw him staring with a surprised expression. “Don’t me regret saying it.”

Tony stared at him for another moment, then looked down at the reactor. 

"I’m sure you know that's true,” Steve said, and continued only when the other looked up. “You just need to keep that in mind.” 

“Are you saying positive thinking will help me not to drown?” 

“Well, it helped so far.” 

Tony frowned and looked around, eyes suddenly widening when he realized they were in the middle of the pool, the deepest point of it. He didn’t even gasped, just swallowed down once and then he couldn’t move, completely petrified. 

“Tony-“ 

“I knew it…”

“You’re fine. You’re not drowning.” 

“But I’m going to, because I can’t fucking move!” 

“You can, just focus. I’m right here with you.” 

_You’ll let me go down… everyone let me down_ , Tony thoughts started to get worst and he tried, he **tried** to keep them away, but he was so scared they could be true, he physically fought Steve when he dragged him closer. 

“You _can_ move, see?” Steve said, both grasping each other’s arms. “You completely forgot about the water until now. We’re both breathing just fine, you’re not drowning.” 

Tony kept his eyes closed, head down, trying to take deep breaths. “You and your stupid tricks…” 

“I needed to see if I was right.” 

“Right about what? That I can die from a heart attack?” Tony yelled at his face- realizing how close they were. He tried to move away, but the Captain didn’t allow him to. “Steve, if you don’t let go of me right now-“ 

“You’re really going to drown if I do that. You need to calm down.” 

_He could easily leave me here… he could just put my head down into the water and…_

“Natasha did the same to me. And I punched her.” 

Tony blinked, the words slowly sinking in, Steve’s voice so close and low that made him shiver. 

“It was few months before the battle in New York. She came to me for some training, to test my abilities after all the time I spent in the ice. It didn’t take her long to notice I had a problem with the water and told me that I needed to do something about it. She did it for me, pushing me into a pool like this one, hours and hours in the water.” Steve’s voice was stable enough to help Tony calm down against him. “After a week I said I was ready to fight, she said I wasn’t. We decided for a little fight in the pool and the moment she managed to keep me under, I panicked and hit her to get away.” 

Tony kept staring sideways at him but said nothing, water slowly splashing between them. 

“I never thought I would've done something like that, but fear doesn’t make you see things straight. Luckily, I didn’t hit her too hard, but enough to feel still guilty about it- enough to admit that she was right. It took me another week to solve my problem.” 

“How you made it out alive after punching Nat?” 

“She hit me twice and almost drowned me during the fight after that one,” Steve huffed a little laugh. “I apologies, offered her a dinner and she said we’re good… but I still feel guilty about it.” 

“She knew you weren’t over it, yet…” 

“I knew that too but decided to ignore it, and I hurt a friend,” Steve nodded sadly. “That’s why we can’t be reckless. For the team's and our own good.” 

“Are you talking about someone in particular?” Tony sighed ironically. 

“Are you strong enough to fight with us or not?” 

Tony breathed out and then nodded, staring at the blue below his feet. “I'll try.” 

“Good. Try now.”

“Huh?” Tony had the time to look at him for a second before being pushed away: without any support, he suddenly fell down, deeper and deeper like the pool didn’t have an end anymore. Spreading his arms into the silence of the water, his heartbeat and his fear were all he could feel- then, he started to move upwards, his body rising slightly and he knew that sensation… 

When he jumped out the water, coughing and trying to gain some sort of balance, he saw Steve coming back up a second after him. _Of course you were down there with me…_. “Are you trying to kill me?! What the hell!” 

“I knew you could do it." 

“Well, **I** didn’t know!” 

Steve grinned. "Feel better?” 

Tony shook his head in disbelief, but couldn’t hide a little smile on his lips. “It wasn’t so bad, after all…” 

Steve blinked in surprise and then huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, right… nice scream you let out before, by the way,” he said, swimming back to the edge of the pool. 

“What scream? I didn't scream!” Tony shot back staring at him for a moment before taking a deep breath. He slowly bent backward and spread his arms: he completely forgot how liberating could be moving into the water without being scared of it... Feeling light and free- just like flying in the sky.  
.  
.  
.  
END

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Find A's deepest fear and put it on person B. A will try to help." In this case, I put Steve's fear about water on Tony. Switching fear... that might be a new level for future angst.


End file.
